Years and years ago when I was a very small boy I experienced what was described to me later in college as “anal retention”, or the act of holding one’s shit in beyond when it should naturally be held. I would kneel with the back of my ankle planted in my ass to hold it in longer; what would sometimes happen is that some of it would mash into my little boy underpants and make a mess (for which I was scolded by father). But I really loved the feeling of my rectum being split and held open by the shit and so by squatting that way could maintain the feeling…the shit forcing my hole open and my ankle keeping it that way. When I put a dildo in my hole it approximates the feeling I had when I was a little boy and holds my rectum open, when the device comes back out gives me that wonderful “expulsion” feeling…the exact same feeling I get when I sit on the loo and let loose a massively filthy dump. I’m sure you’re familiar with this feeling given how much you’ve shoved up your ass.
Some 20 years ago or so I began down the path to my cross-dressing passions with the purchase of panties and hose in an attempt to explore different sexual highs during my private, mostly in-hotel moments. Always being the experimenter and being a little crazy (and very much boy-like) I added other odd things to the mix – like whip cream and ketchup. One evening at a hotel in western Colorado I played with that stuff and spread it all over me while taking pictures. The ketchup was a mistake (the vinegar would almost knock you over in those quantities) but the die was cast…I was on my way to becoming a true weirdo and a lollipop fruitcake. Since then of course I’ve played with any number of different items, foods and liquids, with others and by myself. It’s just a part of my little c***d curiosity to try new things but to be safe, both physically and socially, when I do.
Put those two things together, the retention and the experimentation, and an ever increasing devotion to that feeling of in, almost in, out, almost out up your ass while playing with diapers, enemas, butt plugs and girls underwear and it became an inevitable progression to playing with the filth in my body (especially given that I had also been pissing all over myself). I’ve played with my shit in a really wide array of situations, including with two other people who had similar interests. Now obviously there are downsides to this play – hazards and complications to be avoided, the smell, the risk to health, etc. I’ve mitigated those factors by not getting too overboard with where the shit goes on my body, and what I do with it once it’s filled my panties or diapers or plopped it onto a plate. I met one guy online who would actually eat it, which I would never do; in fact I never let it get past a certain point on my chest. I am also careful to be where I can get clean quickly, and protect any vital openings in my body that would not otherwise be exposed to such filth (like my penis slit). I shit-fucked a guy once but I used a condom when I did it…I’m stupid but not that stupid!
The thrill of playing with shit lies in the same area of my brain that thrills with being called a stupid white trash whore, or a worthless homo boner queer, or doing or thinking any number of other taboo things in sexual play or masturbation. The further out the better, as you would say, and in a real life interaction with another person’s sexuality you can’t get much further out than to play with their shit and spread it all over his, and your, body. It’s an absolutely disgusting, dirty filthy thing to do and it’s waaay fucking out there on a scale of being pretty weird. Even still I can look back with fondness at the pictures I’ve taken of my experiences and masturbate with glee over those moments.
While the smell can be off-putting at times the sensations received more than make up for the nasal discomfort. You know any reward in life has it’s price, it’s not that much different from the pleasure I get when I rub olive oil all over my fag boyfriend’s body just prior to ramming my cock up his ass in a desire to deposit jizz. It’s simply another path down the same highway leading to decadent sexual bliss. It’s all about pushing past the mental boundaries of what’s possible and the social inhibitions that keep us from experiencing these pleasures, and then exploring new and exciting ways to please a depraved body and a very deviant mind!