I have pooped my pants twice since the new year, but I still think I need a complete catharsis. I believe, when my time allows I will really pig out, eating a lot of cabbage for a large. stinky poop and some gas. And drive around the area where I used to live, reminiscing about past traumas and especially past the place where I had my pivotal accident that got me hooked on pants pooping. I think I will record my thoughts vocally while driving and struggling. When near the point of no return I will get out and walk, so I can for once empty myself all at once. I owe it to myself. I must add though, the drive is to be alone and once the struggle is in full swing while driving, the pullover and surrender will/must be in a secluded area. I must be able to moan, struggle to the last by scissoring my big thighs back and forth and have the final surrender …..I hope I can break down and cry, though I hope I do not suffer more emotional trauma or stress. this should be a way to cope w/past stresses and traumas, and though I wish I could perform in front of/with a sympathetic SO, sadly, it seems that it is not to be.